As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He shit in the fireplace
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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