You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
