i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
