i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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