literally had 100 drinks last night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My vagina just clenched in fear
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
