I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
