I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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