the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's shark week go big or go home
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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