I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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