Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
