she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
