She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
