dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
