Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
