Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just got carded by a ten year old.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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