David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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