I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
