i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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