I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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