Just mADE A PArabola og urine
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
