I wish I could teleport
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
