i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
