im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
