I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
