You work out of a Hotel?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just got carded by a ten year old.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
