Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
