she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
