Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
