You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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