Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
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I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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