can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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