you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
