It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
God, I missed his penis.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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