i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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