I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
They have beer where we have blood.
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