He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
