I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You made out with two different species that night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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