i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize