Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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