I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
