we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
