:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
