Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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