i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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