Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
