I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
