you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
