new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
