that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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