i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
