THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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