dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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