What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
