He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
