U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
