my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
