Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
