First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
