I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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