David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
