Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
