this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
