I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
