I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
