As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize