If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
